i hate it everytime i see you, you wud make me cry and the best thing is you never failed to remind me how much of a failure i was. i asked you to shut up but u wudnt listen.. not until you see me in tears you wouldn't stop.. what have i done to deserve all these.. each day i wud cry myself to sleep. EVERY FREAKING F*****G DAY!!! your mouth works like a tape recorder, you would playback the same words to me everyday till i can even speak out each words you were trying to say. you know how hurtfull those words are to me.. you are not making me stronger instead you are killing me slowly.. PAINFUL~ it really hurts.. i couldnt stop crying even when im writing this. you hurt me so badly that you know i wanted to juz end my life right this moment.. i used to b bubbly, strong and happy.. now i can laugh with others bt cry when im alone. its not easy to put on a mask infront of everyone else, do u know that?... did you even try to understand wad im going thru. you never gave me a chance to explain.. all you ever wanted to say was how bad i am..
i cudnt find anyone else to lean on, i have to alwiz depend and support myself.. you at least still have someone to b with, someone to protect you, someone to back you up.. wad abt me, all i have is you guys and yet u treat me this way..
i never really felt how a real family feels like.. people has a living room where everyone wud snuggle tgther watching movie or probably dinner over at the dining table.. wad abt us, you guys wud eat by urself in the room and i wud eat myself in my room.. once in a while we wud go out and eat tgther.. and when i needed to do some shoppings and sometime i wanted sth you guys wud buy them for me.. bt wad abt the real thing dat i needed, hugs, snuggles, heart to heart talk.. where are all these?? you know how lonely i was while im growing up.. have you ever even asked me 'how was work today' instead of 'work till so late got higher pay meh, bla bla bla bla bla.. useless lar you.. bla bla bla..'

tho you said it when you were frustrated and angry, there are some stuffs which u cud not pull back after u said them. life is not like a time machine wer u can fast fwd and turn back time. YES~ i hate u talking so loudly in public, ITS EMBARRASING, i hate when u cud show ur temper in front of everyone else when u r in a hich class place, THIS MAKES ME LOOKS SO LC, when i softly told you to lower down ur voice n thing like dat u wud say u pek chek lar this n dat n bla bla bla bla again.. WTH!

sometimes i envy those friends around me where thy are so loving. even if tat's juz the surface i still envy them cause they got sth that i dun.. LOve n Understanding..


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