Today wasnt a really good day for me. I am really exhausted plus my mood is really really bad. Thursday was supposed to be a family dinner night as usual but then i made it into a disaster. the only day that mum n dad is able to have a proper meal as a family with me and i had to leave early as im rushing home to get my sleep. I fucking hate having to alwiz wake up so early to rush to penang just in time to avoid the 730 jam whereas my working times is at 9. But then i got no choice as most major multinational company is located in Penang. I wud just have to bear with that. Having to sleep ard 9 or 10 everyday is supposed to be sufficient for me but yet i am still very tired and exhausted. Almost each day i would doze off while driving, and almost a few times almost caught myself with accident because of that. I cried in the car just now while driving home feeling so guilty leaving my parents behind to finish their meal but i got no choice. Each day i will try my very best to get more sales but then things weren't so beautiful as it seems. I give myself the motivation i needed, i give myself the pressure that is required so that i would not fail to get myself placed as permanent.. i try not to let everyone around me b disappointed at me. I hate being so cranky and moody everyday. Even now i lost my appetite to eat. I hardly finish half the portion of my meal just now. i ate only a few bites and left the rest to my parents. Mum just said to me, if they wud have know i wud act like this, they rather went home straight. Almost each day i came back feeling so happy that i can finally rest my head on the pillow. But each day i feel so heart ache, i don't know y? I am sorry. I am trying the best i can to be someone better.. im really tired... i wish there was sth i can do...

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