6/02/10

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUBU



I know tomorrow i wont b able to blog. so I wan to dedicate this post specially for u since i doubt u'll b able to read it today or tomorrow anyway. HAHA! So this will b ur 1st bday im gonna celebrate with you.. and i hope u like wad i planned for u and the prezzie i gave you.. frankly this is the 1st bday party and 'present' dat i ever gave a guy.. hehe.. u're the 1st.. Hope this makes u feel special.. I did planned sth for ur bday at 1st bt too bad u knew it ady so it doesnt reali seems like so special to me anymore.. tho this party i planned out for u is very simple and i dun reali knw if u'll like it bt then i hope u did enjoy..

too bad that after this thr will b another 2 weeks bfre u'll b leaving bek Perth.. im gonna b like missing u madly.. bt then i knw life's gotta go on and as i promised, i'll work vy hard to b thr when u grad.. and oso to go on vacation with u without worries.. =)

u knw sth.. life fr me changed since the day u stepped into it.. i knw thrs alot of dissatisfaction in me that still needs improvements bt then the next time u see me, i'll make sure u'll b satisfied with the change aite? bt then no matter what and no matter how far the distance btween us can be.. i will alwiz b here waiting..

i dun reali have alot to write here den to hope that this is a memorable bday for u. hope u like the preparations we all did for u and the gifts i bought for u.. i love u my dear. may u b blessed in everyway u wanted to b. muackxxx... finally. happy birthday my dear. i love u



31/1/10

every now and then i feel that im getting tensed up very easily.. i get pissed off easily too.. my emotion is so unstable lately.. im not juz merely PMSing. bt then i feel troubled most of the time.. i cant get a peaceful mind.. and i feel so annoyed bt that kinda feelings. i dont knw y do i alwiz have the feelings of being so useless and never been able to do anything dat i can feel proud of. is my life determined to b this way.. i dont and i wont spend the rest of my life being a fool and being someone who is alwiz a FAILURE to the both of you. i thought that encouragement is what you were supposed to show me not splashing me with cold water and treating me with those cold shoulder of urs. you know how much i hated when u turn ur back against mine when i need you. i myself already have those thoughts saying im a failure myself and i was hoping you wud at least say i am not.. bt instead you tell me i am and elaborating those things dat made me realise I AM INDEED A FAILURE.. i feel so deeply depressed and sad.. i am tired.. reali reali tired of practically everything you guys said.. you never gave me any good encouraging words.. you guys alwiz blame me fr almost anything dat happend.. you guys alwiz made me feel so bad so bad dat i wish i was dead. do i actually deserve all this.. am i reali dat bad. you know how much i envy other people who lives better den me.. dun stir up my anger.. you guys knw wad kind of things i hated the most and yet u guys still treat me this way.. have u ever realized that i dun wan any of this to happen.. do u think this is the life i actually wanted also.. i oso wished dat i was in the life tat i was enjoying b4 all these happend.. why dun u blame ur brother instead for causing all this sorrows to us.. i know that you guys are upset for being in this situation and i too am feeling reali bad for not being able to help out and yet i need help from u.. u think i dun feel anything.. i DO.. i DO.. bt i tried.. i tried so hard dat even my own health was at stake laz time.. did u knw abt all this.. NO!! dats cuz i dun wan to make u worry abt me.. bt then wad i got bek frm u was words full with torns.. hate and sadness.. i miss my old life as much as u two missed it.. bt this is the reality and this is the fact.. mayb i wud live better when the both of u start encouraging me more instead of alwiz giving me words of discouragement and putting all blames on me

Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

My Blog List

Another Templates

Followers