Dont really know was it time or im growing older each day. Fact is, i really am. I just had a look at those pictures of me while im a kid. Each pictures that was taken, each moments that had passed.. i really couldn't imagine when im 12 i hoped so much to go to high school and wear those blue pinafore instead of those navy blue ones.. hahaha... then when im in secondary school, i wished so much that i was 18 so that parents wouldn't bother me that much hanging out with friends.. upon reaching 18.. i wished so much i was legally 21 cause there were so many cool and happening clubs which i cant enter due to the age ( which i still enter anyhow ) Hahahah!! bad girl.. and finally im officially 21.. which i don't feel any difference as i am a working adult now with responsibilities and commitment to which at times i missed those times when i could still skip school to go for movies or Karaoke with my buddies, those times when we used to gossip about almost everything.. those moments are priceless.. at times i do wana try putting on those pinafore and see how much weight i've gained.. hahahah.. thinking back on those rebellious moments last time reali made me smile.. those days when me and my buddies used to laugh so loud that even the floor below us heard our laughter's.. i still rmb those times when we reali hated someone, we wud use glue and pour it over the person's chair and let them sit on it.. HAHAH.... yes, that was me back then.. i wud alwiz go against the school rules.. dat's y im famous among the teachers..

when i was a teenager, i wud alwiz wana b that popular girl among friends, to be the one with the latest gadgets lar, the most active one in sports bt not academic-ly HAHAhhaha, to b the one famous among anyone ( negative ) hahaha... wadever u cud think of i have did all of them at school. bt my rebellious level is not that bad compared to co-ad schools.. we are all girls school so how bad cud we go.. we are still afraid of the teachers wad.. bt one thing to be proud of.. no matter how naughty i was i was alwiz the class teacher's pet.. hahaha..

well, dats 4 years back.. now all i want is a good future which im still working on it. im not young anymore, yea alot of ppl said ey 21 is still vy young bt i dun feel so.. i alwiz feel 21 is considered capable enuff to do alot of things ady since you're officially legal in age now.. wadever u do, u will b held responsible and ur parents no longer can take the blame for u anymore.. to me 21 is the right timing for you to determine what you want and who you wana be in life? some ppl might still b having the time of their life in school or even in the clubs and some might already be working their ass off for a better living and some might already b having err 2 or 3 kids by now.. hahah..i know alot of my friends is happily married already bt im no where ready for it.

Life is tough, no one said it would be easy, bt wad is Life when u don't go thru ups and downs.. if life is alwiz gona be 'that' easy, that is not life.. you learn from falling down, you learn from mistakes that you did, you learn from your past and you learn from being imperfect. In life there never is an easy way out to things.. there never is.. There is no shortcuts in life and there's definitely no shortcuts in getting to the things you wants. you alwiz get things using the hard way cause that way, only you will learn to appreciate things around you. Well, i am alwiz the same confused girl which never could make up her mind in doin the right decisions but im fighting for it. I read aot of books, i've seen alot of people, i've experienced alot of ups and downs in life for a 21 year old which i guess alot of people my age had never experienced this much.. i have been thru alot to be who i am standing right now.. tho at times i still behave like a kid, which i reali likes and it annoys ppl at times, bt then im just being myself.. well, when im around people or as i cud say, ppl which im not familiar with eg, colleagues or mayb new frens.. i am alwiz not reali myself.. well.. this is a way for me to protect myself frm getting harmed or hurt by others.


I have been so moody lately, feeling so stressed out.. i missed those times when im in kl where there were so many friends for me to hang out with.. those pool's sessions wer it makes me relax whenever im having a bad day at work or even when im stressed out. Here in penang, altho its a place where is belong, i just cudnt find anyone to talk to.. everyone seems so busy with their things. i feel so lonely here.. =( bt then at least im near to home..

i'll will alwiz remember one phrase, 'God has plans for all of us'.

Life seems so stressful horrrrrrr... i guess when i change job i wud b trice stressful compared to now. phewww~ life will alwiz b stressful to me no matter where i am cause that's life basically.. it onli depends what u make out of life itself.. its either u choose to b happy with life or to alwiz nag abt how life can b.. its ur choice anyway.. i on the other hand appreciate what life has for me. tho i might hate those times wer life feels so shitty bt then after nagging and complaining it to my partner, i wud feel better the next day after i wake up.. juz dat i pity my bf cause he has to be the one to calm me down everytime..

对不起了。幸苦你吧了。但，谢谢你当我在最弱时候自此我，安慰我，鼓励我，疼爱我。谢谢你没放弃过我在我最难过的时候。我从不觉得自己能够为你付出些什么，但是我会答应你，当你最需要人时候，我会是第一个在你身边静静地听你诉苦。 宝贝，我们已经在一起两个月多了吧。也经过不少了吧。未来还很多风破哦，但放心，我们会手牵手一起度过。虽然你现在离我很远，但是每一天我都在COUNT down哦=）我华裔应该会比较好了吧， 应为有拼硬帮我哦。宝贝，习惯吗没有我在你身边照顾你， 我好想念你哦。不知你是否也在想念我现在。答应我， 你会努力好好读书，不要放弃应为我每天都为你祈祷让上天保护你和让你得到好沉寂。现在我坐的一切不再是为了我自己，不再是为了其他人，而是为了你和我。我每天都向你诉苦，你一定觉得好累了吧。对不起啊。soliii soliiii...... 你知道吗之前我完全不会想过我会跟你在一起毕竟我喜欢的是同性的人，你是第一个让我改变，让我感受得到，‘我很想拥有这个男人’。你所做的东西，所讲过的笑话，所表过的感受我都还记得。我们第一次牵手，你给我的第一个文还很清楚的在脑海里。感觉就像你还没离开过这边。很想摸摸你手，很想睡在你怀抱，很想在听你无聊的笑话， 我真的好想念你哦。还有225天就到11月了。时间过得特别慢当你不在我身边。奇怪，当你在时候偏偏时间就过得特别快。好不公平！！宝贝，我好多话想告诉你哦，好多位子很想带你去阿。等你回来时候我们一起去哦。记得在那边好好的照顾自己，冷时候记得该被被，肚子饿时候记得吃东西， 记得喝多多水啊。还有，记得好好休息。被累坏知道吗？记得我较你读书的方式哦。迟了！还不去睡觉。。 没有东西了拉。爱你深深哦。mwakxxxxx... 永远爱你的鼻鼻。