Getting tired while waiting… (U know?)
Gotten tired while waiting and~
U Know, do you know how I feel?
Gotten tired while waiting~
Do you still remember me? (Oh~ no)
Even if a day goes by, I'll still remember you
Even if a month goes by, I still won't let you go
Can you understand my desires for you? (oh~no)
Going insane while waiting
and each day feels like a year.
Oh~ I, I I I~ was waiting and while I was waiting,( yeah~)
It felt as if you would come back
or if I look back I would see your face

Oh~ I I I I~ am going insane, going insane (yeah~)
I am holding back just in case you come back, (oh yeah~ )
I am still waiting (oh yea~)
Even if a month goes by, I'll still remember you.
Even if a year goes by, I still won't let you go
Can you understand my desires for you? (oh~no)
Going insane while waiting
and each day feels like a year.
Oh~ I, I I I~ was waiting and while I was waiting
It felt as if you would come back
or if I look back I would see your face
Oh~ I I I I~ am going insane, going insane (yeah~)

Why is it so hard
and everything's so complicated in my head.
I was waiting and waiting
and yet no answers from you
I didn't cry because of you
and you didn't leave because of me
So why is it so hard, why is it so hard?

I will wait for a year
or even a decade if I have to.
Oh~ I I I I I I I I will wait and it's fine if tire myself out.
Going insane while waiting
and each day feels like a year.
Oh~ I, I I I~ was waiting and while I was waiting
It felt as if you would come back
or if I look back I would see your face
Oh~ I I I I~ am going insane, going insane (yeah~)

my face is red and im down with slight fever..

these few days i've been having insomnia. can't sleep well, kept on thinking abt alot of stuffs.. my body is tearing apart yet my mind is still so wide awake.. i'll be starting my course next january ard 4th but due to insufficient place fr me and a student so our class is only 2days a wekk till march.. and frm monday till friday will b off and sat and sun will b d day we're having class... so im planning to take part time job to at least lower my burden for the moment.. i got too much to do and i need income coming in as well. xmas is coming d and i hav yet to plan out anything.. for this special day of mine, i dun reali wana clbrt with anyone excpt one particular person. but still the more the merrier rite.. heheheh...


been into korean songs lately, influence by si lang kent.. hahah..


but seriously its reali nice, even if u search in youtube, you'll love it cause of the meaning. i dun know abt those ppl out thr but then at times i feel the meaning in most of the songs xplains the feelings in my heart.. probably diz is y i love these songs.

well i guess blogging to me nowadays has been more like a personal journal for me to express my feelings.. bt still whenever thr's other things to blog abt im sure to blog abt it oso..

past few days old illness visited me again.. yea, the kind which reali likes to let u feel wad hell is abt kinda illness.. its back... argggghhh~ hate nia. i've been listening to the same song for the past few days while having a kinda sad feelings inside. i wan to find someone to talk to but i dun think anyone will b able to understand, so i guess keeping it inside is the best choice.. no matter how, at least im still smiling for those ppl i love.. u knw lar, girls pandai emo wan lar.. bt i guess im good in hiding my feelings cuz i dun think any1 realized it, except for nicole.. cilaka nia! all oso knw wan...

its not easy to put on a mask infront of everyone, its not easy to tell ppl u're ok while ure not and definitely its not easy to find a shoulder to lean on for u to weep. bt at least i can b hapi whenever i told myself, 'there's still hope'. i've been relying on the word 'hope' all this while.. 'hope' is wad keeps me strong for these two month's.

but, i smile whenever i see u smile. =)

Its the 9th day of December.

These past few days, been having gastric attacks and kinda serious ones but still not as serious as the one i had previously dat had me admitted to the hospital. Been on medication these few days dat made me weak and face turn pale. Luckily got makeup to cover it up. hehehehe... had fever on and off. but shud b ok in a few days more d.. cuz the pain is not dat severe d.


how can i find that answer to my question and how can i stand up from the fall i had? does crying helps you to release your emotion? does acting silly cover your tears? does lying to urself helps u to feel better?

i did try to choose to live life more happily. but how come sth is missing. =(

Its the 6th day of December, holiday season now. Everywhere i go thy joy of x'mas fills me up. The decorations, the songs and even the foods that could only be found during x'mas is out. X'mas this year has been abit slow for me. Or its has been like this for the past few years. How is everyone doin and wad is your new year's resolution for the year 2010. I sure had mine planned out nicely. Well, will share it here at the end of the post MAYB! hehehe.. So mayb you could share yours with me 1st. =)

My birthday is just ard the corner but i din quite feel the excitement altho im goin to b officially 21 this year. I felt that i had waste alot of my time this doin sth dat is absolutely goin no wer. Bt at least my mind is aware now and im goin the correct path now. Did sth stupid and silly today. Ok, well it was silly but at least i wud b stupid not doing it. Nicole was trying to slap me back to reality just now.. i was like laughing and laughing and laughing.. She did ask me wad's my plan for my birthday, seriously i gave her a dumb folded face and said i dun know. She is someone i wud say, understands me well and she knw wad's on my mind. Did told her if she duno wad i need, want and thinking im gonna downgrade her bff's position to normal friend position... we laughed.

Well, i gotta look things at the bright side too once in a while. Im trying to keep my mind in reality now cause i've been trying to make life as a fairy tale these few days.. sucks rite.. hahahah i knw.


i've been not feeling well these two days due to serious gastric problem.. Had late lunch yst and boy, the late was really pretty late. I am still feeling the dizziness and the pain in the abdomen.. Din tell my parents tho cuz the last time of the attack i was being hospitalized for a whole week. =.=!! I am taking med now, and im feeling much better compared to yst altho its still not fully recovered.

Nicole asked me to come along to kl a few days b4 my birthday. I still dun knw if i could make it? budget is a problem as well as birthday is ard the corner and i bet i will b spending some amount tho. Birthday this year will be as quiet as the past few years. i wonder if my wish wud came true this year.

Am i someone who is dat bad? yea, from the look of my record, i guess its quite bad. Bt, at least im no longer looking to b like who i am back in the past. I guess i need to thank Asaph for this. He thought me alot about life as well and he is the one who made me realize dat i need a purpose in life. Well i had everything in order now, almost perfect except one thing is missing.

well, like miley cyrus's the climb im feeling sth like this lyrics here

hey, im back blogging again and the good news is im not going Ipoh anymore cuz i'll be staying here to continue my course instead.. yippieee =) (common let's celebrate, celebrate.. yuhoooo)

Ok, now for my 1st thing that i need to do before 2010. Loose 10kg's. I tell u it ain't gonna be easy u knw.. gaining weight is goin to be a piece of cake but not when u wana loose them. But, i bet with someone to loose by then.. so Be it!!! heheh..




Some of u might wonder y my post title is as wad above is, cause actually i am a shouter myself and its kinda sad to see more and more ppl left shoutout cuz thy no longer thinks its fun anymore. Most of those people that was in shoutout is bloggers themselves. Hehehe, someone did ask me before why i still stayed, its actually very simple, cause i actually feel that shoutout is not like any other common chat room wud be. They feel like a family to me. Shoutout has different shouters from across whole M'sia and not forgetting there are shouters from different countries as well. Well, ever since i became a shouter i did c alot of changes being done here and there, and its goin to be sad to see shoutout to go ( KabOosh!! ) because tak ada traffik.. hahaha

well honestly, because of shoutout i did made alot of friends from different states, different races and different perspective, not to mention different AGE.. for a person like me, i hardly make friends cause mayb people dun reali like me dat much. But shouters dun care who the hell u might be, they juz accept u for who u are.. Altho there are shouters who beh syok here and thr but its doesnt onli happen here lar, outside oso can happen lar.. But i still stayed with shoutout cause i feel happy talking to them..you knw shoutout is no ordinary chatroom, its actually cool for people who likes to interact, but at times i'll just lurk ard and c wad thy're chatting on. thr's PIC's comment oso available now and the current hottest topics in shoutout are GAMES!! Guy's.... haihzzzz!! tho i loves games but then i dun think im dat crazy over them, so tak ngam topic.. hahahaha... but wud love if i can join them in their game.. hahahahah.. looks fun. well!! Sounds fun...


Shoutout has alot of different types of ppl, there are IT genius, fashion freak, emo shouters, photo kaki's and alot alot more.. u name it yourself. But sadly alot of these people no longer has the interest to shout anymore, and thy left one by one. Some cuz found new website d, some working and no time and some other reasons lar.. Still there are shouters that are still there till now. And thy are the active ones..

Well!! i missed alot of the gatherings tho, but due to insufficient members, we cant really organize SOYEG 2009 this year. Sad... =(

Well... whether you have the same opinion about shoutout as me, you be the judge. Honestly, i feel shoutout can be the best group of friends i known. *better ask lasker to organize more gatherings.. hehehe.



(this is a personal post, not advertising purpose...) hehehhehe =) byeeee

Ohhhh Ohhhh
In the heaRt
Of the night
When it's dark
In the lights
I heard the loudest noise
A gunshot on the floor
Ohhhh Ohhhh

I looked down
And my shirt's turning red
I'm spinning around
Felt her lips on my neck
And her voice in my ear
Like I missed you
want you tonight

Chorus:
Straight through my heart
A single bullet got me
I can't stop the bleeding
Ohhhh
Straight through my heart
She aimed and she shot me
I just can't believe it
Ohhhh
No I can't resist
And I can't be hit
I just can't escape this love
Straight through my heart
Soldier down(my heart)
Soldier down(my heart)

Thought I moved
More than on
Thought I could
Fool her charm
I really wanna go
But I can't leave her alone
Ohhhh Ohhhh

Hear the sound
Of a love so loud
I just can't, I just can't
Ignore this feeling
Said she misses me
And she wants me
Wants me tonight

Chorus:
Straight through my heart
A single bullet got me
I can't stop the bleeding
Ohhhh
Straight through my heart
She aimed and she shot me
I just can't believe it
Ohhhh
No I can't resist
And I can't be hit
I just can't escape this love
Straight through my heart
Soldier down(my heart)
Soldier down(my heart)

In the heart
Of the night
When its dark
In the lights
I heard the loudest noise
A gunshot on the floor
Ohhhh Ohhhh

Chorus:
Straight through my heart
A single bullet got me
I can't stop the bleeding
Ohhhh
Straight through my heart
She aimed and she shot me
I just can't believe it
Ohhhh
No I can't resist
And I can't be hit
I just can't escape this love
Straight through my heart
Soldier down(my heart)
Soldier down(my heart)

i feel like privatizing my blog.. i feel that i dun really have privacy whenever i blog. I've been having a shit hell of a time, messed up in emotion as well. I don't feel like im someone i used to know. I don't feel happy and i feel like a prisoner in my own world. Friends asked me if i was happy with the way i am now, i pause and was wordless. I don't know how to answer them. The only thing running in my mind till now is, 'AM i HAppy?'.


I've been coming to Starbucks everyday, surfing the net everyday and the only thing i feel im comfortable with is surfing the net and blog. But i couldn't really blog about almost anything cause my blog is a public blog. Last time i did thought of making my blog, well at least famous but now this blog has become more of a personal journal to me.

I actually wanted to live in a world of my own, i feel its more comfortable this way. I haven't been sleeping really well cause i have alot of problems which is troubling me and its only me dat could actually solve this problems. I don't want to tell or being questioned for what is wrong with me as it would stir up my temper.


i dun know wad to doooooo