Good morning fellow readers.. its the 1st day of Chinese New Year and Love is in the air this CNY as Valentines day fell on the same day. So im here to wish everyone a prosperous CNY to all my readers and may the year of the Tiger brings you and your family loads of good luck, wealth, great health and good omen. As for those couples who will also be celebrating Valentines day, Happie Valentines day to all of you ooo.. Specially i wud like to wish Happie Valentines day to my special someone, my boo my dar.. lub lub.. thank you so much for those flowers and the card u surprised me with which turns out to b a failed suprise. sori i was reali blurr dat time i din knw the card was thr.. =.=!! but this valentines day turns out to be the best one in my life, tho simple but then it comes from your heart which meant alot to me. And im happy to have you thr with me for Valentines day. Another 1week more and i'll b bidding u bye bye.. i have so much mixed up feelings now, sad and happy as well.. I do hope that you will b able to take gud care of urself thr. Bi wont b thr to take care of u like i do over here anymore.. whenever u're sick dun forget to get medi frm pharmacy ok.. u r like a lil kid.. alwiz nit me to worry ard about u.. i think my role is more like a mummy den ur biie.. =.=~ Anyways i'll b strong here and focus on the necessary things i nit to b doin here and so will u when ure thr k.. i wan c gud gud results oooo...
Ok, ennuff crapping d.. i wan go pom pom in a while and ftch mummy to work d.. So to all my fellow readers Have A Blessed Chinese New Year and drink loads of water since u all will b digging in those chinese new year biscuits... Love u all.. Mwakxxxx
i hate it everytime i see you, you wud make me cry and the best thing is you never failed to remind me how much of a failure i was. i asked you to shut up but u wudnt listen.. not until you see me in tears you wouldn't stop.. what have i done to deserve all these.. each day i wud cry myself to sleep. EVERY FREAKING F*****G DAY!!! your mouth works like a tape recorder, you would playback the same words to me everyday till i can even speak out each words you were trying to say. you know how hurtfull those words are to me.. you are not making me stronger instead you are killing me slowly.. PAINFUL~ it really hurts.. i couldnt stop crying even when im writing this. you hurt me so badly that you know i wanted to juz end my life right this moment.. i used to b bubbly, strong and happy.. now i can laugh with others bt cry when im alone. its not easy to put on a mask infront of everyone else, do u know that?... did you even try to understand wad im going thru. you never gave me a chance to explain.. all you ever wanted to say was how bad i am..
i cudnt find anyone else to lean on, i have to alwiz depend and support myself.. you at least still have someone to b with, someone to protect you, someone to back you up.. wad abt me, all i have is you guys and yet u treat me this way..
i never really felt how a real family feels like.. people has a living room where everyone wud snuggle tgther watching movie or probably dinner over at the dining table.. wad abt us, you guys wud eat by urself in the room and i wud eat myself in my room.. once in a while we wud go out and eat tgther.. and when i needed to do some shoppings and sometime i wanted sth you guys wud buy them for me.. bt wad abt the real thing dat i needed, hugs, snuggles, heart to heart talk.. where are all these?? you know how lonely i was while im growing up.. have you ever even asked me 'how was work today' instead of 'work till so late got higher pay meh, bla bla bla bla bla.. useless lar you.. bla bla bla..'
tho you said it when you were frustrated and angry, there are some stuffs which u cud not pull back after u said them. life is not like a time machine wer u can fast fwd and turn back time. YES~ i hate u talking so loudly in public, ITS EMBARRASING, i hate when u cud show ur temper in front of everyone else when u r in a hich class place, THIS MAKES ME LOOKS SO LC, when i softly told you to lower down ur voice n thing like dat u wud say u pek chek lar this n dat n bla bla bla bla again.. WTH!
sometimes i envy those friends around me where thy are so loving. even if tat's juz the surface i still envy them cause they got sth that i dun.. LOve n Understanding..
too bad that after this thr will b another 2 weeks bfre u'll b leaving bek Perth.. im gonna b like missing u madly.. bt then i knw life's gotta go on and as i promised, i'll work vy hard to b thr when u grad.. and oso to go on vacation with u without worries.. =)
u knw sth.. life fr me changed since the day u stepped into it.. i knw thrs alot of dissatisfaction in me that still needs improvements bt then the next time u see me, i'll make sure u'll b satisfied with the change aite? bt then no matter what and no matter how far the distance btween us can be.. i will alwiz b here waiting..
i dun reali have alot to write here den to hope that this is a memorable bday for u. hope u like the preparations we all did for u and the gifts i bought for u.. i love u my dear. may u b blessed in everyway u wanted to b. muackxxx... finally. happy birthday my dear. i love u
every now and then i feel that im getting tensed up very easily.. i get pissed off easily too.. my emotion is so unstable lately.. im not juz merely PMSing. bt then i feel troubled most of the time.. i cant get a peaceful mind.. and i feel so annoyed bt that kinda feelings. i dont knw y do i alwiz have the feelings of being so useless and never been able to do anything dat i can feel proud of. is my life determined to b this way.. i dont and i wont spend the rest of my life being a fool and being someone who is alwiz a FAILURE to the both of you. i thought that encouragement is what you were supposed to show me not splashing me with cold water and treating me with those cold shoulder of urs. you know how much i hated when u turn ur back against mine when i need you. i myself already have those thoughts saying im a failure myself and i was hoping you wud at least say i am not.. bt instead you tell me i am and elaborating those things dat made me realise I AM INDEED A FAILURE.. i feel so deeply depressed and sad.. i am tired.. reali reali tired of practically everything you guys said.. you never gave me any good encouraging words.. you guys alwiz blame me fr almost anything dat happend.. you guys alwiz made me feel so bad so bad dat i wish i was dead. do i actually deserve all this.. am i reali dat bad. you know how much i envy other people who lives better den me.. dun stir up my anger.. you guys knw wad kind of things i hated the most and yet u guys still treat me this way.. have u ever realized that i dun wan any of this to happen.. do u think this is the life i actually wanted also.. i oso wished dat i was in the life tat i was enjoying b4 all these happend.. why dun u blame ur brother instead for causing all this sorrows to us.. i know that you guys are upset for being in this situation and i too am feeling reali bad for not being able to help out and yet i need help from u.. u think i dun feel anything.. i DO.. i DO.. bt i tried.. i tried so hard dat even my own health was at stake laz time.. did u knw abt all this.. NO!! dats cuz i dun wan to make u worry abt me.. bt then wad i got bek frm u was words full with torns.. hate and sadness.. i miss my old life as much as u two missed it.. bt this is the reality and this is the fact.. mayb i wud live better when the both of u start encouraging me more instead of alwiz giving me words of discouragement and putting all blames on me
i've been wondering and thinking myself.. Lately apart from seeing other news all i can see and hear about is deaths. the 1st one tat caught my attention was the waterfall case in Kampar.. and to think its already over, another earthquake in Haiti.. and now the drown case in Penang.. But one thing that they all have in common are water and Deaths.. i realized that life on earth are getting shorter and shorter and the average age for those who passed away are getting younger and younger.. this actually made me realized that life itself is getting more and more precious.. mayb 2010 might be real in some ways.. it might not actually be the 2010 incident we saw on the theater but instead, a disaster we create ourself that causes massive destruction.. I learn in some ways that life to me is fragile, too fragile that we need to handle it very carefully. life is too precious to me.
I learn things the hard way before, experience thought me alot of things that some ppl may never have the chance to go thru wad i have been thru b4. but then looking and flipping thru the pages in the paper and also listening to words from tons of peoples.. the only thing i learn from all that is never let yourself in any ways have the chance to regret let it be now or in the future. appreciate what you have now then to break down and cry in despair when u loose it.. your family that has been with you throughout you entire life, your friends that alwiz lend you their shoulder to cry on, your teachers that thought you countless knowledge, and your partner that has alwiz been there for you in watever situation you have gone thru.. a lil THANK YOU today might b better than you not being able to have a chance to say thank you at all.
Days and countless milliseconds that passed by, you are getting further and further away from me. Exactly another on month more and you will no longer be with me till end of the year.. im gonna miss u like hell everyday.. but then while you're away i'll work triple hard to be able to b there when u graduate.. i wonder how u're gonna feel when im not around u??
Im kinda dissapointed that i had made something for him but then it turned out to b a disaster because of a silly mistake i made and now i need to do it all over again and then im juz afraid i wont b able to hand it over to him on time... shit shit shit shit!!! another 2weeks more and its gonna b his birthday ady.. gosh!! can someone tell me what can i do? sob...sob..sob..
well, i am addicted to Korean songs now.. and at the moment a few songs are my fav, including 2A.M's new songs.. thy're great..
Mr.Chong is bz berDOTA-ing.. all i can hear is the click click click!!! sound beside me.. click...click ...click..
click.
click.
click.
click.
click.
click....
and my face will b like diz..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
=.=!!!
ok lar, better get my ass back to work.. abo later kena deduct salary i tiok DIAO' lor... bubyezzz... mwakxxx mwakxxxx
have not been blogging for the past few days now.. well been kinda bz lately with work.. i was kinda occupied most of the time either with works or sleeping.. and not forgetting of cuz my baby.. hahah. we juz had dinner with my parents juz now after work and had a long chat, which onli now i found out dat our grandparents were friends.. =.=!!
i duno why, i cant reali sleep now, but i guess dat he's fast asleep or mayb he might b in his dreamland by now. well, good for him then.. all i want is for him to have a peaceful sleep as he's not reali feeling well oso these few days.. bt now he's feeling better d.. i am so happy that i get to stay with him as often as i cud, cuz he'll b goin bek to studies after CNY and i wil onli get to meet him probably this year end.. as much as im gona miss him.. but i still have to go on and work work work my ass off... so if im lucky i might earn enuff to pay him a visit or probably attend his convocation as well.. =) at the moment im so addicted to tik tok by 2pm.. mayb cuz its the lyrics and the rythm of the songs dat got me so crazy over this song.. another song im oso crazy abt is over u by weesung.. this two are great song.. but now i'll paste the translated version of tik tok.
<3 <3
Nobody knows
How I want you like this everyday
Every time I embrace you behind the stage
My heart bursts
We greet each other awkwardly in front of people
But when we turn away, I'm the one who knows you best
I can hear more loudly in my ear
what you say with your gaze, that's right
Your desire for me, your thirst
We go crazy for each other like this
*That I love you secretly
That you're really my girl
Drive me so crazy every day
I just want you, you this way
Come here tik tok tik tok tik tok
When I see you tik tok tik tok tik tok
All day tik tok tik tok tik tok
My heart tik tok tik tok tik tok*
Nobody knows
That you and I love like this every day
There's no room in my heart for anyone to come in besides you
Tik, I knew from the beginning
Tik, there was something about you
Tik, in that gaze you stared at me with
Tok, For your exhilarating love
Tok, I'm always thirsty
Tok, I keep searching for you secretly
*Repeat
You're my only star
No one knows about anything, don't worry
Look at my eyes, I'll protect you
I'm by your side, just like this
It's our secret, it's our secret, its our secret
It's taking control of me
Escape everyone's eyes, spill the burden of our relationship onto me
In my dreams, I hold onto your hand proudly like everyone else and walk
In my busy day, my work, dreams and everything else are forgotten
By our love going tik tok like the hand on a clock that doesn't know how to stop
*Repeat
Tik tok tik tok tik tok (x4)
well... all i can say is this songs sang out everything my heart wants to say..altho i juz saw him juz now.. i miss him badly now.. i duno why.. and i hear fireworks outside.. freaking loud.. i guess its frm the temple opposite my house.. how i wish we were at a ground rite now while i sleep on his chest watching the starry starry sky filled with millions and millions of stars. well.. i guess i got to hit the bed now.. tmrw is gonna b another day for me.. nitez peepz... nitez dar
